


Heard At The Manor

by ununquadius



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Curious Parents, Dialogue-Only, F/M, Humor, Invasion of Privacy, M/M, a bit OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 08:12:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15602103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ununquadius/pseuds/ununquadius
Summary: Extracts of conversations between Narcissa Malfoy and Lucius Malfoy, as recorded in the main living room of Malfoy Manor.Or how Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy discovered who their son was dating.





	Heard At The Manor

**Author's Note:**

> A big thank you to the wonderful person that is cubedcoffeecake for betaed this, for her comments, and for everything <3
> 
> Now that you know that, go and read the fic! Enjoy! <3

_Extracts of conversations between Narcissa Malfoy and Lucius Malfoy, as recorded in the main living room of Malfoy Manor._

“Where’s Draco, Cissy?”

“At the Parkinsons.”

“He’s been spending a lot of time there lately. Do you think… he and Pansy…?”

“What? A couple? No, they aren’t. I think he likes that girl… what’s her name? Ingrid and Eros’s daughter…”

“Greengrass? He likes a _Greengrass_?”

“Yes, I think so. Their second daughter… Astoria!”

“He can’t like her.”

“I’m not happy either, Lucius. They’re half-bloods. But if she’s what Draco wants…”

“A half-blood! And then what? Befriend Weasleys and Mudbloods? Hmf!”

“Calm down! I’m not sure he likes her.”

“He had better not.”

***

“I think you’re right; he likes that Greengrass girl. Look at what I found!”

“Have you been going through Draco’s things?”

“Don’t look at me as if I were a criminal! This is important!”

“Our son’s privacy is important too!”

“Narcissa!”

“Lucius!”

“...Alright, I’m sorry. Happy?”

“Hmf.”

“Cissy?”

“Leave me be.”

“Ciss, come on!”

“Lucius! Stop! Oh, Merlin! What if someone enters?”

“Let them watch.”

“Perve.”

_The rest of the conversation has been cut off due to its repetitive affirmations and invocations of deities—as well as long dead wizards._

***

“So, about that thing I found the other day in Draco’s bedroom…”

“That thing that you returned to its place and promised me to not look for again? Or to look for anything similar without our son’s consent?”

“...yes.”

“What about it?”

“It was a letter, Cissy!”

“Have you read it?”

“No!”

“Are you sure?”

“Fine! I read it! In fact, I have it here. Read it!”

“Lucius! You promised me… Oh, Merlin! She loves him so much!”

“What happened to your high morals?”

“Shh! I’m reading.”

“Well? What do you think? I think we should talk to him about how inappropriate this is and…”

“Oh, yes! ‘Hey, Draco, we have been reading your personal post and had discovered your very questionable relationship’. That would be splendid!”

“He’s our son! He must obey us!”

“He’s an adult, and he has his own thoughts, feelings, and dreams.”

“And love interests, it seems. Hmf.”

“Yes, even if we don’t like them.”

“We have to do something now, Narcissa, before we lose him to that filthy half-blood family.”

“But they’re so in love! Look at this: ‘I think I was going to melt when I saw you in Diagon Alley yesterday’. She’s so cheesy! Oh, and this! ‘I can’t wait to see you again this Saturday, love.’ Love! Remember when _we_ started dating?”

“Yes. I think we were quite a bit more cheesy.”

“Indeed we were.”

“She says they’re going to meet this Saturday?”

“Yes… Oh! We can ask Draco to stay home and do something with us, to reinforce the family bond, blah blah blah. It will be fun to watch him search for excuses.”

“You have an evil mind. I love you, Cissy-bee.”

“I love you more, Lucy-boo.”

***

“I don’t know if I should be annoyed because he deceived us like that or proud of how cunning our Draco is!”

“I’m annoyed. I didn’t want him to see that girl. We should go to London and spy on him.”

“Oh, Lucius, stop already! They love each other! And Draco has been so happy lately! She’s good for him.”

“A half-blood.”

“A good for him half-blood.”

“ _Fiiine._ ”

***

“Look at what I found.”

“A letter? You tell me to not look in Draco’s things but you can?”

“I didn’t go through his things, I just found it by chance.”

“Right.”

“But this is important, Lucius dear!”

“Why is your letter more important than mine?”

“Because.”

“Because…?”

“Guess it.”

“Because… he says he wants to break up?”

“No. Guess again, sweetheart.”

“Narcissa! Tell me already!”

“You’re no fun.”

“Don’t pout like that.”

“Alright! We were mistaken. Astoria Greengrass isn’t the girl.”

“What? Who is she then? Please, tell me she’s someone worthy. A Parkinson? A Selwyn?”

“I don’t know, but she signs as “H”.”

“Just an “H”? If you look it this way, it can be an “A” open on the upper side.”

“It’s an “H”! Nobody writes a capital “a” like that!”

“You should know with your horrible handwriting.”

“My handwriting is beautiful, thank you very much!”

“Yes, that’s why I didn’t know you loved me until you read me your letter aloud.”

“You have awful eyesight, Lucius.”

“Of course.”

“Back to our problem… Who do we know with a name that begins with H?”

“And who Draco has need to hide from us.”

“Merlin! It can’t be!”

“Who?”

“Harry Potter’s friend! Granger! Isn’t her name Harmony, or something like that?”

“The mudblood!? No. No. No. A half-blood is an almost acceptable thing, but a mudblood—no. No. No.”

“Okay. Let’s think. Let’s breathe, and think. Let’s… I think I’m fainting.”

“Me too.”

_Some deep breaths, a few cups of tea, and some cold cloths later…_

“Well, we’re modern parents, and we’re living in modern times. We need to adapt.”

“A mudblood, Narcissa.”

“I know, I know. But what’s more important: Draco’s happiness or our own?”

“Draco’s happiness, but he can be happy without destroying ours!”

“But if she’s who Draco loves…”

“We’ll see her at Christmas… Every Christmas that mudblood will be eating our food, talking to us, giving birth to our grandchildren!”

“She will give birth each Christmas?”

“Hmf.”

“We can do this. For Draco, yes?”

“Yes, alright. But he’d better not expect me to learn Muggle things! Or to touch her!”

***

“...”

“...”

“If you look at it with your eyes half closed, it says “Harriet” and not… the other name.”

“You have to be very optimistic to read Harriet there, Lucius.”

“Potter. He’s dating Harry fucking Potter.”

“We should have expected it, you know? He has always talked and talked about him.”

“Draco has always talked _bad_ about Potter. This was impossible to foresee.”

“Look at it this way; Potter isn’t going to give birth each Christmas.”

“Har har. It’s a boy, Cissy! I can’t believe… A boy! Draco is gay!”

“The mudblood doesn’t sound so bad now, hm?”

“Why are you enjoying this so much?”

“It’s funny. We had all the hints there: Draco’s obsession with Potter since he was little, the secret relationship, the handwriting that looked like a boy’s (I know mine is worse, but I’m trying something here!), the mysterious “H”... it all shouted Potter!”

“What are we going to do? Play the modern parents?”

“Yes. We’re modern, we adapt to the times, and Draco’s happiness, even at our expense, is our priority, so we’re happy with this.”

“Oh, Merlin! He’ll want to tell us!”

“So we’ll play it cool, feign surprise, and congratulate him. We have this, Lucius!”

“And then we travel to a quiet island and forget all this madness. I like it.”

“Don’t be silly!”

“I…”

“Shhh!”

“Mother, Father, I have to tell you something.”

“We know, we’re cool, and we’re modern.”

“...”

“...What?”

“What your father is... trying... to say, is that we’re fine with your dating Potter.”

“You knew?”

“We found the...ouch!”

“Yes, darling. I felt it in my uterus. It’s a mother’s thing.”

“Er… right. And you’re alright with it?”

“Yes.”

“Absolutely.”

“Great! I’ll tell him to come for dinner tomorrow, and to bring Ron and Hermione!”

“I’m telling you now, I won’t touch the Mudblood!”

“Lucky it isn’t Christmas, otherwise she will be giving birth, eh, Lucius?”

“...You’re so weird, the both of you.”

_The records end here. We assume the dinner with Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, and Miss Granger was very interesting, but it took part in another room of Malfoy Manor, one that we can’t access._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! <3
> 
> You can leave comments and kudos if you want!


End file.
